Thoughts of a gloomy day….

Outside looks so gloomy today here.  It rained all night…. I am thankful for the rain because we needed it badly.  

How am I feeling today?  A bit of disappointment for something that didn’t happen yesterday where I wished so badly for that to happen.  But the past weekend made me realized that it is time to move on and take another step forward.

Taking step forward, all the inspirational posts on Facebook about forgiveness and letting go and looking at things on the brighter side.  How many of us can do it?  At this moment, I can’t forgive some people, I can’t let go of certain situation that is still haunting me, how can I look at things in a positive way when all the negative things are happening around me?  Am I the odd ball that can’t do what those inspirational quotes tell me to do?  Who knows?  But I know where I stand today,  I take that as a good thing.

I have lost my identity for quite a while.  I am still searching for that.  I knew I was a wife, a Mom, then a caregiver to a very ill husband.  Now I am a widow and a Mom.  Who the heck am I?  I became this indecisive person that I never was.  It is scaring me and it is hard to get out of this mode.  

Today, I leave this page with a quote where it matches me the most since I started this lonely journey….  

“Sometime the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over” – Nicole Sobon

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